satire
grrlscientist | February 3, 2007Here's a story that needs no commentary from me;
A Blue Ridge Mountains Boy Scout troop accidentally discovered Vice President Dick Cheney's "undisclosed location" last week, a press officer with Boy Scouts of America said. The troop, consisting of a Scoutmaster and 17 boys from the region who were planning to camp for the night in the heavily wooded area, reportedly found the undisclosed location while hunting for shelter during a sudden hailstorm.
"We were heading to a nice clearing near Brushy Mountain we've used before when the squall hit," Pete Pubert, Scoutmaster for the troop, said. "…
grrlscientist | January 23, 2007
Rogue MTA notice.
Image: David Harmon.
The text reads;
All trains will be running at the normal unsatisfactory rate, along with track diversions and problems with closing the doors, which will make you late for any appointment or job you have. We sincerely do not apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
----------3AM until 9 PM
----------MTA Transit
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This service notice has been brought to you by none other than Peet Skeet. Please enjoy the over priced, over populated, shit ass ride on the train.
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tags: NYCLife, MTA, notice, rogue MTA notice
grrlscientist | January 9, 2007From the archives ...
New York City (AP) - After an unsuccessful year-long search for funds to support two years of research and living expenses, a scientist and freelance writer has offered to fund her research by selling access to her internationally televised death by electrocution and by auctioning all body parts on ebay.
GrrlScientist, a molecular evolutionary biologist and ornithologist, and a freelance writer, researches and writes about speciation in birds and the evolution and historical geographic movements of parrots among the islands of the south Pacific Ocean. These islands…
grrlscientist | December 24, 2006I know this joke is in poor taste, but considering recent events, I think I am the right person to tell it to you. But I am putting it below the fold so you have to work for it before you scold me for having bad taste;
Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia -- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and.....
Paranoid -- Santa Claus…
grrlscientist | December 21, 2006This streaming video shows a gift idea for those of you who are madly searching for that perfect gift for a loved one ...
grrlscientist | December 18, 2006Speaking of legal mood-altering drug use, here's a new drug for you to use.
To view this ad, please click here.
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tags: demoglad, streaming video, politics, humor, satire
grrlscientist | December 12, 2006Where the hell DID we all come from? The true source of the big bang, according to the scriptures.
grrlscientist | December 12, 2006
Now they've bastardized my favorite christmas movie! But I'd pay the price of admission to see GW in the bunny pajamas!
grrlscientist | November 27, 2006
Orphaned image. Please contact me for proper attribution.
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tags: escher, politics, humor, sarcasm, satire, administration
grrlscientist | November 20, 2006
Fox News ratings went down by 17% in October, while most cable news networks saw tremendous increases in ratings. I guess people are finally growing tired of their ridiculous bias and gossip. Basically, there is no liberal media, there only is only intelligent media and ridiculous media. Oh, and hey, Rupert, how did the OJ interview help your ratings?
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tags: politics, mainstream media, FOX news, OJ, murder, george bush
grrlscientist | October 17, 2006
Image source.
As some of you know, I have been seeking a job for several years (I won't embarass myself by saying exactly how many years). Needless to say, I have made a few discoveries along the way, one of which is how to decipher job ads. Below the fold is a dictionary of words and phrases that a friend sent to me. These words and phrases are often included in job ads for jobs that turn out to be something other than what they should have been based on the ad description. Feel free to add your own, too.
Ability to take charge: Your boss works 60-70 hours a week and has been looking…
grrlscientist | October 11, 2006
A friend sent this sticker to me, which is meant to be placed on your telephone, as a little reminder for all of you to use big words when using the phone, and to include "terrorist" or "terrorism" at least once in each conversation.
tags: surveillance, politics, AT&T, verizon, bellsouth
grrlscientist | October 8, 2006Okay, dear readers, I finally figured out one way to circumvent computer security on the hospital computer. Since I am currently in the hospital, this crappy computer of theirs is my only link with the blogosphere, so this is truly good news. YeeHAW! As a result, and starting with this image, I now can share a few things with you that I know you will truly enjoy!
Image moved below the fold due to slow download times ..
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This picture lacks something ...
(Orphaned image)
tags: republicans, TIMEmagazine, Bush, politics, satire, humor
grrlscientist | July 31, 2006
Image source.
A published author who now is a friend of mine after I reviewed his book sent me some words that he found in a top-secret copy of the Republican-English Dictionary. He noted that these words and their definitions are useful for those of us who have been recently experiencing difficulties deciphering speeches and news reports delivered by the current administration.
But it's top seekrit, so don't tell them that we know! Shhh!
Words stolen from the top-secret Republican-English Dictionary;
alternative energy sources n.
New locations to drill for gas and oil.
bankruptcy n…
grrlscientist | July 27, 2006Can you recognize the voices in this video?
Horsefly: George W. Bush
Horse: Tony Blair? some British dude
Spider: typical misinformed American AKA; Britney Spears
Hog at trough: Richard Clarke
Bloodhound: Donald Rumsfeld
Fox by garbage cans: Colin Powell
Dog: Ayman Al-Zawahiri
Pigeon: Condoleezza Rice
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tags: Wallace & Gromit, politics, humor, streaming video
grrlscientist | July 24, 2006Okay, I have one comment about this streaming video, but I will resist the urge to say anything until after you've watched it first (below the fold).
Oh yeah? Well, using that same er, "logic", gawd invented liquor because he wants us all to be raging alcoholics.
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tags: banana, atheism, godlessness, IDiots, religious fanatics, wingnuts