Hallelujah! I've Found Religion!


I'm sure you've all heard of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), right? Sure, its the cute flying pasta plate that's trying to stick it to organized religion. FSM is a farcical "religion" created by a 24 year old guy named Bobby Henderson in 2005, based on the idea that a flying....er....spaghetti thingamajig created the world. I too had *heard* about it, but little did I realize how truly awesome the FSM was. Praise pasta!

So, what do "Pastafarians" believe?? (from wikipedia)

- An invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, starting with a mountain, trees and a midget
- All evidence pointing toward evolution was intentionally planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM tests Pastafarians' faith by making things look older than they really are. "For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease."
- "Ramen" is the official conclusion to prayers and is a combination of the Hebrew term "Amen" and Ramen, a type of noodles
- Pastafarian heaven includes at least one "beer volcano" and one stripper factory
- According to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is all misinformation spread by Christian theologians of the Middle Ages. In reality, Pastafarianism says that they were "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who would distribute candy to children.

Although it began as a satire of "intelligent design," and a light-hearted way to poke fun at religious zealots who take themselves way too seriously, its snowballed into a movement.

From Bobby:

I don't have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. Teach creationism in school, fine, but DON'T teach it in a science classroom. Science = the study of repeatable, observable, natural phenomena. Accepting a supernatural explanation is a cop-out. It's faith, NOT science.

He even sent a letter to the Kansas School Board, detailing how the creation story of the FSM should be taught alongside their version of "intelligent design." I mean, if their story was valid why wasn't his? They actually replied in June, although the replies came from the boards' dissenters (ie, those that had a sense of humor and actually respected science). Except this one:

From: Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6

"It is a serious offense to mock God."

Although if you really want to see the dark-side of Jesus-based rantings, the FSM has a whole hate mail page seething with Christian love. (Hat-tip to Stranger Fruit!)

You also might be surprised to know that our very own World's Fair bloggers were the first scientific journal to recognize the existence of the FSM in Science Creative Quarterly! Truly groundbreaking!

Would you like some free FSM wallpapers?
How about some holy FSM apparal?
Why even FSM jewelry is available, as a token of your undying faith!
And when you listen to your FSM sermons via iPod, make sure you cover its naked indecency!

Sidenote: He also hypothesizes that global warming is intimately tied to the ever-decreasing pirate population. Arg!

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Happy Holidays! May his Noodly Appendages tickle you on this most festive of days. Pagans often fail to understand the traditions of Pastafarianism. As with all the other major faiths, the CoFSM has its traditions, its holy days. Some have, admittedly, been compromised from their pure origin to…

Ra-men, Miss Shelley. Though, as a scientist, you know that all your measurements are inaccurate, since the FSM touches each with his Noodley Appendage to hide the true meaning of the whole bowl of noodles.

Now you must convert the non-believers! Begin your training here:

I find it interesting that almost of all the hate mail is so badly spelled and formatted that it makes it almost impossible to read. I guess stupid is as stupid does.

By CaptainMike (not verified) on 01 Aug 2006 #permalink

While I have been a practicing pastafarian for some time, I do have an issue with the graph displayed. I believe that it needs to be clarified. It currently shows orthodox pirates, and not modern pirates. Modern piracy (blasphemous imitators) has been on the rise, and I believe that this imbalance may act as a positive feedback effect on global mean temperatures. This must be turned around by 2020 Al Dente or the world could fall into chaos.

Wow, that site is amazing!!!

I especially like this quote:
Being touched by His noodly, but small, appendage is guaranteed with a parrot on ones shoulder.

My salvation is ensured!

The article at the Uncyclopedia is priceless, by the way.


I'd be careful and just stick to the wikipedia article. That uncyclopedia.org article looks like they might be getting some of the facts wrong. I'm just worried they might be one of those pasta apostates.

I couldn't figure out how to play the game. My noodly appendage kept shooting down at the people, and nothing happened other than them changing their running direction. What are you supposed to be doing?