Humor stuff, and in the best of worlds, science humor stuff
bcohen | December 17, 2008Although I'm starting to suspect the Talk of the Town will not be noting our stunning performance, and Publisher's Weekly made not give us a starred review, I will still admit that Dave and I gave the best performance --the best performance? -- the best performance of our lives at the Cornelia St. Cafe a few weeks ago. Vince LiCata was the instigator of the whole to-do, in league with Roald Hoffmann. While Vince will no doubt soon be most known for the prize-winning choreography that has just netted him top honors by the AAAS for dancing his research, I'll also make him known here for one…
worldsfair | October 7, 2008
I've got a pin-up published at the Science Creative Quarterly today (you can download the pdf at the link).
At its heart, this flowchart is really a comparison of the carbon tax, cap and trade, and the Conservative's somewhat disappointing Clean Air Act (or now the equally weak "Turning the Corner" plan). You can get a clearer write up of this at the following great piece published at UBC reports.
worldsfair | September 18, 2008Speaking of Sting Rays. I just remembered that a while back, I wrote a humour piece specifically on rays. Here it is reprinted below.
ASSORTED RAYS: RANKED ACCORDING TO COOLNESS
6.
Ray Romano
Is it just me or is this guy too funny? I mean, that thing he does with his TV mom and wife just cracks me up. Plus, he once made $50 million bucks in one season, which is totally cool, and is in no way the reason for putting him on this list. Too bad about the TV kid twins, though - I mean, what's up with their foreheads being so massive? It doesn't look natural.
5.
Cosmic Rays
These are the rays that…
worldsfair | September 5, 2008 Humour piece by Patrick Francis. Good stuff, and a list that includes "Global Warming", as well as the "Swiss" Here's an excerpt:
Disease
Bacteria are catching on to the whole antibiotic thing and they are doing something about it: evolving! Antibiotics are pretty much the cornerstone of our modern medical system and without them we're helpless. And this is coming at a really bad time what with crazy pig-viruses, bird flus and SARS type things coming at us with, judging from the media, ever increasing frequency. It's going to be like 14th century Europe all over again except with facebook…
worldsfair | September 3, 2008The Science Creative Quarterly is back in action today after a few months of only publishing students' works from our symposia program, as well as a few months where essentially the site was not showing off any new material. More or less to say that we haven't had our normal variety of pieces for about four months.
So this is just to say hello again, and to note that today's piece is a little list humour by me (called "LIKELY AND UNLIKELY THINGS THAT SIR ISAAC NEWTON STOOD ON DURING HIS LIFETIME" and reprinted below).
Likely:
Grass.
A stage of some sort.
Guard.
Tippy toes.
Unlikely
Astroturf…
worldsfair | September 1, 2008(And again with the back to school theme, and again with a piece from the SCQ - this one written by me)
A UNIVERSITY JOB POSTING (OR BECOMING A PROFESSOR IS HARD THESE DAYS)
This is a call for outstanding candidates to apply for a tenure track assistant professor position within the context of the Department of [subject name] at the [institution name]. The successful applicant is expected to work in areas of interest to current faculty members, to interact with related groups within our network and to have demonstrated ability in producing research material of excellent quality and interest.…
worldsfair | September 1, 2008(As I gear up for back to school, here's a little gem reprinted from the SCQ)
- - -
MY NEW GRADUATE COURSE OFFERINGBy Vince LiCata
Title: Introduction to My Research Area
Course Instructor: Me
T Th 10:30 -12:00, Willams 205
Office Hours: by appointment
Course Syllabus: The course will consist of me, talking about my research area, for 15 weeks. Topics to be covered include:
1. My research area.
2. Why my research area is important.
3. Important contributions I have made to my research area.
4. Contributions other researchers have made to my research area, including an objective appraisal of…
worldsfair | August 14, 2008CELEBRITY: Who are you?
GENETICIST: I am a geneticist.
CELEBRITY: Like, is that a big word for someone who is not as cool as me?
GENETICIST: It is a word that describes my role as a scientist who can answer any questions you might have about genetics.
CELEBRITY: And why would I care about genetics?
GENETICIST: That, my friend, is a very good question! Genetics is more important than you would think. We are now living in a society where the progress we see in the biological sciences, and in genetics in particular, is impacting tremendously on the societal, economic, political and even…
worldsfair | August 13, 2008OLD MACDONALD: Do you want to buy some beef?
GENETICIST: If the beef is not tainted with mad cow, then I would be very much interested in purchasing your beef. However, as there have been a few recent outbreaks of this disease in North America, I think I will abstain for now.
OLD MACDONALD: What is mad cow?
GENETICIST: Mad cow is a term that refers to something known as bovine spongiform encephalitis, a curious infectious agent that is neither a virus nor a bacterium.
Despite this, it is still an infectious agent that can cause the brain of said infected cattle to turn into a sponge, which,…
worldsfair | August 12, 2008BONO: Why am I so weary?
GENETICIST: From a genetic point of view, I would say that your weariness is a reflection of your metabolism. That is, your ability to pull energy from the food you eat, and the ability to utilize that energy effectively. Both of which should not be a problem for a person of your age and affluent stature. My guess is that you are just overdoing things. Here, Mr Bono, would turning up the lights help wake you up?
BONO: You know, I am probably overdoing things. Sure, turn the lights on, although first let me put my sunglasses on. My eyes are quite sensitive to the glare…
worldsfair | August 12, 2008GRIMACE: What am I?
GENETICIST: That is a very interesting question indeed. And we should begin by briefly discussing your known history. According to your records, you were born as "Evil Grimace," with four deft arms, and a penchant for amusing yourself by stealing milkshakes from small children. Then, in 1974, you experienced a change of heart, a loss of two arms, and a metamorphosis into what is your current incarnation--a supposedly warm, gentle, and seemingly living representation of the "embodiment of childhood."
GRIMACE: Is that why I have only one orifice?
GENETICIST: Perhaps so, as…
worldsfair | August 11, 2008ELMO: Elmo is not very happy today. Elmo is sad. That is why Elmo is here to see you Mr. Geneticist.
GENETICIST: Tell me, little one. Why are you so sad?
ELMO: Elmo thinks he has a hand up his ass. Elmo wanders if Mr. Geneticist can make it go away.
GENETICIST. I am sorry little one. What you would need to do is consult your medical doctor. I fear I cannot help you here, as I am, sadly, only a geneticist.
worldsfair | August 11, 2008(Since I'll be away for the next week or so, I figured this is as good a time as any to reprint a few "speaks to a geneticist" pieces. Hope you enjoy them).
LIESL: Why is it that we can all sing very well?
GENETICIST: Liesl, that is an excellent question! And essentially one that boils down to the classic debate of nature versus nurture. Are your genes responsible for this particular talent, or has it more to do with your upbringing? Looking at this scenario objectively, I would have to say that it is both. There have been reports that the ability to have perfect pitch--that is the ability…
worldsfair | June 26, 2008When I read pieces like this one (at McSweeney's), it makes me want to make the World's Fair the place to go to at ScienceBlogs when you want to catch up on unicorn stuff.
Anyway, here's the first paragraph:
The unicorn starts out by laying out its plan to counter the North Korean nuclear threat. It says, "Create a giant rainbow over the entire country that lasts 100 years and then flood the DMZ with thousands of puppies--er, kittens. Because nothing's cuter than a kitten scratching and meowing to get in somewhere. Then, after we break through, the Marines go in and take over any nuclear…
worldsfair | June 16, 2008So... In an attempt to procrastinate some time away, I've put in the effort to collect all of the silly science humour pieces I've written over the years (as well as some of the few non-humour pieces I've written) into one easy to visit website.
After doing this, I can't believe how much stuff is there. It's funny, but I always thought it was like some very minor hobby, but there's actually quite a bit of stuff there when you put it all in one place. Granted, that almost half the pieces are at places where I get to play editor, but still, maybe, it's time to not feel stupid and embarrassed…
worldsfair | June 6, 2008I quite enjoyed this Shouts and Murmur piece (reprinted below in full). It's called My Nature Documentary (by Jack Handey)
- - -
"Show monkey in a tree. Narrator says, "The monkey, proud and smart, in his native habitat. But one thing he does not have . . ." Show a giraffe. ". . . is a long neck, like the giraffe. Which is why nature has allowed them to combine forces." Show monkey on giraffe's neck. (Note: Monkey may have to be tied on.)
Then the narrator says, "The monkey can now see very far, and has protection from predators. And the giraffe has a little friendly guy to ride around on…
worldsfair | June 5, 2008Ben just alerted me of one of my humour pieces going up today at McSweeney's. Like the post title suggests, it's about science and pinatas. The key question, of course, is why did I categorize this post in the "humanities and social sciences," but to be honest, I'm not sure of that answer myself (what category do you think science pinatas should fall under?)
Anyway, my favourite bit is the part about the animal pinatas, but go here to read the piece in its full times font glory.
worldsfair | June 2, 2008Part of the joy of running a website, is being able to recycle old pieces. Up on the SCQ today, "Stem cell Barbie."
worldsfair | May 19, 2008
Seriously, this chemistry movie rocks. I've put it below the fold so that it doesn't slow this main page, but it's definitely worth checking out. (hat tip to Creative Review)