Humor stuff, and in the best of worlds, science humor stuff
worldsfair | October 4, 2007Well sort of. I'm proud to say that as the editor of the Science Creative Quarterly, we have published our third ever squirrel piece today. This one is a doozy - in fact the title sort of says it all.
WAVE-PARTICLE DUALITY: OBSERVED PHENOMENA IN SCIURUS CAROLINENESIS
If nothing else, it is hoped that you will always be able to recognize the latin word for squirrel, and who knows - if we get more squirrel pieces, that might just be the needed incentive to make a squirrel specific science scout badge.
(previous squirrel related pieces include this serious one, and this not so serious one).
worldsfair | October 2, 2007The Science Creative Quarterly is seeking wondrous, thought provoking, and potentially slightly silly science questions. These we hope to present to our esteem Bill Hick, the Science Prick, who in turn will attempt his best to answer them in due course.
As well, know that a little meat with regards to the questions submitted wouldn't hurt. And to attract such queries, we would like to make this request for questions our October monthly book contest. This time around, the prize is Edwina, The Dinosaur Who Didn't Know She Was Extinct by Mo Willems. This seems just about right, since Edwina…
worldsfair | September 18, 2007
One of the first things that a newborn experiences is not necessarily the warmth and scent of the mother's embrace, but rather a series of pokes and pricks to ascertain health and mental alertness. It therefore seems to me that a natural progression of this trend is to incorporate the highest medical predictive technology into an infant's normal surroundings. In other words, it seems obvious to me that sooner or later everyone will have their own molecular genetics lab in their household - most likely adjoining the kitchen.
But, of course, with this new standard of living, steps must be…
worldsfair | September 10, 2007It is with great regret that I report on the demoralizing state of corn culture. Over the last decade, this once mighty cereal grass has succumbed to the stigma of repeated negative public perceptions. Arguably, this unfortunate downward spiral was instigated by the advent of agricultural genetic manipulation, and specifically with the development of the Bt corn product.
Originally created as a corn variety with genes for a "bitchin' toxin," this plant was special, containing its own built-in pesticide, thereby granting a new era of efficiency in crop management. However, Monsanto, the…
worldsfair | August 22, 2007
Just saw a piece I wrote got published in the Canadian magazine, The Walrus. What's especially cool about this one, is that it has been presented in comic form, which is first for me. This is another great example of just sticking to your guns when trying to publish a piece. I must have written a first edit of this piece way back in early 2005, and had submitted to the odd place here and there.
Originally, it was a text piece, entitled "Short Illustrious Collaborations of Research Career" detailing some real encounters (many very brief) with notable folks in the scientific research or…
bcohen | July 30, 2007New volume, number 13, of Annals of Science is now up over at McSweeney's. Care to gander? It's here.
Teaser? Okay. Here's the opening:
I don't know if the image of thousands and thousands of crushed mice on a city street--mice crushed so thoroughly and efficiently that their guts and gore are thick over the road, carpeting it in a semiliquid paste-like sheet, a slick sluice, making said road too slippery to drive on, totally impassable without maybe those winter tire chains I'm not even sure people have anymore except maybe in Alaska, I'll have to ask someone in Alaska--I don't know if…
bcohen | July 27, 2007
Obviously, when a movie comes out by the best show television ever created (at least if we count the first 6, maybe 7 seasons, as that show, and maybe we don't even keep Season 1 in the mix, and we say humor show, not any show, and we admit The Wire and Arrested Development and Blossom are also up there and we stop caveating because this could go on for a while...), so when The Simpsons Movie is out, there's a lot of buzz about the show and the movie. A media blitz, let's admit. Matt Groening on The Daily Show; Groening on NPR; long-time show big guy Al Jean on Fresh Air; season 4 DVDs…
bcohen | July 20, 2007I've long thought it odd that so many of us spend so much time elevating the public presence of creationism and intelligent design (as I am doing at this exact moment) by discussing them ad nauseum. Generally for the purpose of denouncing it, mocking it, or denigrating it and its adherents in some way, we go on and on. Here's the search return for "creationism" at scienceblogs: page 1 of 76 pages, the first 15 of 1136 posts. Search return for "intelligent design": p. 1 of 93, 1-15 of 1387 entries.
What would happen if we all just ignored them, didn't mention them, and thus didn't allow…
bcohen | July 17, 2007It must've seemed inevitable that we'd go to The Onion's vault for a reprint soon enough. And here it is. Originally appearing here, we reprint it in full below the fold. It's for your entertainment, on our summer holiday, and abiding by our just-made-up rule that reprints should be at least 1, if not 2, full years old.
Fifth-Grade Science Paper Doesn't Stand Up To Peer Review
From the April 20, 2005 Issue (41â¢16) of The Onion
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DECATUR, IL--A three-member panel of 10-year-old Michael Nogroski's fellow classmates at Nathaniel Macon Elementary School unanimously agreed Tuesday that his…
bcohen | July 15, 2007Finally, one from the vault that's in fact from our own vault. I wrote this one last year. Maybe you missed it. Here it is again: "Dale Peck Reviews Einstein's Latest," wherein the bad boy of lit crit reviews the General Theory of Relativity.
Dale Peck Reviews Einstein's Latest
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Pedestrian crap. Albert Einstein's "General Theory of Relativity" (Annalen der Physik, Leipzig: Verlan Von Johann Ambrosius Barth, 1916) is crap. It's oblique, it's opaque, it's bloated with transparent effort. Salted, sanctimonious effort. I literally fidget turning the pages. Einstein is the worst…
worldsfair | July 9, 2007One of the first ever humour pieces that the Science Creative Quarterly published is resurfacing today, and it's also one of my favourite (if only because it contains the phrase, "accelerating two rats to relativistic velocity.")
There is the common perceived consensus is that there is "physics envy" among those in the life sciences, whereby, we biology types secretly wish we could be physicists:
Physicists often state their belief that all biologists would rather be physicists, but became biologists only because they were not very good at math. As evidence for this, they point to such…
worldsfair | June 21, 2007
So here's a thought experiment. Part of the challenge of scientific literacy is finding the audience, or maybe better to say, to create the audience. In particular, the attracting the audience that doesn't normally read things like ScienceBlogs, or subscribes to the New Scientist, etc, etc. So, let me ask "if we could get anybody to intern for us at the World's Fair, and if we're trying to be strategic about it, who should we court?"
In any event, here's our first applicant (from our previous ad) and the apparent pros and cons of such a hire.
- - -
Applicant's Name: George Lucas
Birthdate…
worldsfair | June 6, 2007Continuing on with the doodle week (sorry for the no show yesterday, but I had a Canada Passport emergency going on on top of the workshop stuff), I've put up two pics which illustrate one of the common themes applied, when a student is asked: "Draw me a picture with DNA in it."
That theme, of course, is sex. (or at least a science geek version of it).
And here's another:
It's worth pointing out, that if we were to look at the 600 or so doodles that I have scientifically, the rabbit is one of the organisms that comes up an awful lot. But most surprisingly, the most drawn animal (not…
worldsfair | June 4, 2007Hello again.
Sorry, I've been away of late. My kids (and then I) got a nasty bout of the tummy bug, so was sidelined for the better part of last week (trust me, the blog was the last thing on my mind). As well, this week is also a little tight on time since I'm hosting another one of my world famous Molecular Biology Workshops, in which a number of scientists come to beautiful Vancouver to learn the ins and outs of this pretty fast paced field.
In any event, every client (and university student) I've taught since offering this type of course, I've made filled out a questionnaire at the…
bcohen | May 29, 2007Mission Statement, 2007
"At Intelligent Design Biotech Corporation, we work around his watchmaker's clock to pursue biotech solutions to those improbable imperfections of his work here on earth."
Okay all IDBC Employees:
Let's go let's go let's go. IDBC is finally on its legs. We're trained, we're hyped, we've got that sharp-eyed Focus on the Family Approved ID curriculum. We're big time primed to speak for and as God. So let's make it happen, show those soon Left Behind what education is all about. God up people, let's go, God up.
As you know, we've got work stations for everyone.…
worldsfair | May 25, 2007I just realized that I've written a few science-y piece with an inherent Star Wars hook to it. As well, it seems to be something that comes up at McSweeney's and other similar humour sites. Anyway, here is a collection of the ones I'm aware of. Enjoy...
(From the Onion)
"WHEN CELEBRITIES, WHO HAVE BEEN CLONED IN THE MOVIES, GET TOGETHER FOR A COFFEE" (scq.ubc.ca)
"HAN SOLO AND CHEWBACCA WEIGH IN ON THEIR NEW HYBRID MILLENIUM FALCON" (terry.ubc.ca)
"Human Gene Commonly Associated with Cancer or Droid from Star Wars?" (The World's Fair)
"Quotes from Either President of the United States…
worldsfair | May 21, 2007Ah, here it is:
Mind you, if we're true to the real spirit of Murphy's Law, there's undoubtedly something wrong with this equation as well. For an explanation, check out here at the SCQ.
worldsfair | May 18, 2007Just a quickie reminder that we're looking for haikus on organisms, for a phylogeny project going on at the SCQ.
As well, this summer, I'm looking for a bioinformatician that knows a thing or two about tweaking something like BLAST so that it is haiku friendly. If you think this is something you might be interested in (you know, combine your love of computational biology and haiku), then leave me a comment. I happen to have an unopened 30G video iPod (white and purchase about 5 weeks ago) that can be provided as compensation for your efforts if you want to help out with this programming…
bcohen | May 14, 2007Just outside Baltimore, an Earth Ball -- "a large inflatable ball most often seen in junior-high-school locker rooms" -- may be the most trenchant voice about the utter distaste that is Sean Hannity. Ben Greenman's been compiling the Earth Ball's views. It isn't pretty.
Earth Ball first brought pen to paper a few years ago, in the wake of Hannity's bizarre and hypocritical take on the post-Katrina situation. Here's an excerpt on the bizarre part (go to the full letter for the hypocritical part):
There are hundreds upon hundreds of examples of Hannity's abysmal behavior. I would like to…
worldsfair | May 10, 2007Since we were discussing lab work the other day, let's look at it from another angle. How cool would it be to be able to get a "mad scientist" version of a journal or a protocol book? It might go something like this:
* * *
1. Vortex each overnight bacterial culture thoroughly, and transfer 1ml into a clean microcentrifuge tube. HA HA HA! SOON, MY DARLING BACTERIA SOON!!
2. Spin the cells down for 30 seconds at maximum speed in the microcentrifuge. Remove all of the supernatent by pipeting out the last bit of media left. YES... YES... YES!!
3. Add 200ul of STET buffer to your cells and…