Humor stuff, and in the best of worlds, science humor stuff
worldsfair | December 21, 2009
Well... shouldn't everybody?
Follow the physical laws of the universe here (also check out who the physical laws of the universe are following).
worldsfair | December 17, 2009... well this. This being the (now pretty much) annual SCQ Christmas offering from structural biochemist and playwright, Vince LiCata.
NARRATOR: Every Who
Down in U-ville
Liked their research a lot...
FACULTY: (pipeting): I sure like research a lot.
I love running gels,
I get bored when I'm not.
NARRATOR: But the Pinch
Who lived just North of U-ville
Most certainly, did not.
FACULTY: Now, who wouldn't love labwork?
I'm sure I don't know.
They'd have to be a real jerk,
Or perhaps a bit slow.
He sings:
Fah who for-aze
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome Research
Come this way
Fah who for-aze
Dah who dor-…
worldsfair | December 16, 2009Well maybe not, but wouldn't that be fun?
Sporting his full white beard, Darwin is hired to impersonate Santa Claus at the local mall. He initially does well in this job, looking the part, being punctual, amicable, and knowledgeable about reindeer. However, he soon begins to insist on teaching children words like "invertebrate." He also starts giving out stylish feces beads instead of candy canes. Later, he gets in an argument with another Santa Claus in another mall over biologically sound explanations for Rudolph's glowing nose. The "Darwin vs. Santa Claus" fistfight goes viral on YouTube…
worldsfair | December 1, 2009As someone who teaches the occasional university undergrad course, this is more real than you might think. Here an excerpt:
TELLER: Right. So, yeah, we split the plutonium atom I guess. And make a weapon out of it.
BETHE: When is this due anyway?
TELLER: I think tomorrow.
BETHE: What?!?!
TELLER: I know, right? I mean we shouldn't have put it off, but ... still sucks.
BETHE: I have another class with one of the Soviets, and he says theirs isn't due until 1949.
TELLER: 1949?!?!
BETHE: I know, right?
TELLER: I knew we took the wrong section. And no wonder the Russkies were out last night.…
worldsfair | November 27, 2009Nov 27, 2009
Dear lovers of science, badges, and various degrees of alcohol consumption
Today, I'll be scanning the comments at the Facebook group to create a few more Science Scout badges to put up sometime tomorrow, but if you've got a great idea best way is to send via my twitter account (@dnghub).
I'll also make a habit of sending this sort of request out more frequently by twitter in the future.
Thanks, (and may your repute always be exemplary and your physique above average),
Science Scout Dave Ng
worldsfair | November 17, 2009A humour piece by David Grimes which wonders what you'd hear if you could listen in on the thoughts of such a scientist on a minute by minute basis. Here is the start but it's worth a read all the way through at this link.
Why does my hair keep falling out? Why would it skip going gray and go straight to falling out?
What if my lab coat has a stain on it and I just can't see it? Will people be able to tell this is the same lab coat I wore yesterday?
Is it going to rain? What if it rains? Do I have an umbrella in the car?
If I leave too late, am I gonna get caught in traffic and be late to…
worldsfair | November 5, 2009
Science Scout Twitter Feed
Well, actually, mathematicians - but it would probably go like this:
CD Title: Inverse: (Special limited edition release) (2009)
Artist: VAMPIRE WEEKEND
Rating: 2.718 stars (out of 5)
- - -
The rating stands. (Spoiler alert: We rounded.) Actually, we took our cue here from Leonard Euler. Our rating is actually "e," as in the sound of the squeals that will inevitably emanate from the ladies of Cambridge after they all get a hold of Inverse come two months. Yes, M.I.T.'s finest are back with a shtick to shake up the innumerate masses for whom any further mention of…
worldsfair | September 23, 2009Believe it or not, this is the second post at the World's Fair which just has the word "chicken" three times in the title. Anyway, this went viral a few years ago, but for some reason I find it really really funny. Plus, it's on my mind because it relates a little to an event I'm involved in coming up, which is all about presentation and speaking opportunities.
Here's the paper (front page shown and link to pdf here)
And here is the video:
How he handles the question at the end is particularly inspired.
worldsfair | September 22, 2009... it's kind of funny.
Properties I Learned In Math Class On Brownian Motion (BM), with Explanations.
BY SCOTT LOWENSTEIN
- - - -
1. BMs come in two forms: "standard" and "multidimensional"
2. Law of large numbers: expected distance traveled during a BM = 0
3. Scaling: a scaled up BM is still a standard BM, it'll just take longer to get where you're going
4. Strong Markov property: the flow of BMs in the future are unaffected by BMs in the present after a stopping point has been reached
5. Law of iterated logs: duh
- - -
(From the ever entertaining McSweeneys.net)
worldsfair | September 8, 2009It's that time of year again, where I need to make a goofy video to promote a student conference. Last year, I did one on Things to Avoid When Speaking Publicly; this year I had to make sure Chewbacca was figured prominently.
Do spread the word about TEDxTerrytalks 2009 (especially if you're from UBC), and hope you enjoy the video (you can spread that too).
- - -
As a side note, I'm sure I forgot some notable characters that could've also given a stellar talk on something or other. Pass on your extra ideas in the comment section - maybe I'll make a sequel.
worldsfair | June 10, 2009
Science Scout Twitter feed
(Originally from here)
Dear Mr. Superman, Mr. Batman, Ms. Wonder Woman, and other esteemed do-gooders,
Although I have been waiting patiently for a few years in the hope that an advertisement would appear, I feel for the sake of my career that now is a good time to approach you. In essence, I am wondering whether you are, or will be, accepting any new members into your fine organization. More specifically, I am inquiring as to whether you need the services of a geneticist, since that is my particular field of expertise.
Part of the reason I am contacting you now…
worldsfair | June 1, 2009
Science Scout twitter feed
In botany, a pome (after the Latin name for fruit: pomum) is a type of fruit produced by flowering plants in the subfamily Maloideae of the family Rosaceae.(from wiki)- - -
Today at the Science Creative Quarterly we have this great story written by Matt McKenna.
For those of you unfamiliar with the SCQ, it's sort of a science web publication whose most mentioned comparison is the McSweeney's website (not a bad thing to be compared to, and to be honest, I quite like the site having the label, "McSweeney's for Sciencegeeks.")
Anyway, the SCQ has actually been on a…
worldsfair | May 27, 2009
Science Scout twitter feed
(From MonkeyBicycle)
6.
Ray Romano
Is it just me or is this guy too funny? I mean, that thing he does with his TV mom and wife just cracks me up. Plus, he once made $50 million bucks in one season, which is totally cool, and is in no way the reason for putting him on this list. Too bad about the TV kid twins, though - I mean, what's up with their foreheads being so massive? It doesn't look natural.
5.
Cosmic Rays
These are the rays that gave the Fantastic Four their powers. But even cooler - in astrophysics, they are basically high-energy outer space particles that…
worldsfair | May 13, 2009
Science Scout twitter feed
I'm thinking of highlighting a few of the silly things I write every Wednesday on this blog. And so this particular piece, which was written about 2 years ago, seems as good a place as any to start. At the time I was thinking "environment" and "Chewbacca" - how can I bring those two together? Yeah, I know - wierd.
HAN SOLO: Well, so far, it seems like it's a pretty good thing. Me, I'm not too up on the technology, but Chewie is pretty good at that stuff. Right Chewie?
CHEWBACCA: Uuuhhhggg. Rrrrggghhh. Hhhgg-aaa. Rrrrn.
HAN SOLO: Yeah, that's a good point.…
bcohen | April 9, 2009"Do you feel protons decaying? Grand Unification may be occurring near your vital organs."
Michael Rottman at The Morning News brings an important public service announcement to the web. By all means, please be encouraged to read it.
If pressed for time, note some of the highlights of the ten steps of concrete advice:
1. Do not panic. Resist the urge to induce vomiting. If the Higgs boson gets stuck in your teeth, they could turn into pure light.
2. If space and time have inverted within your body, skip to step 10.
...
9. If all else fails, the only foolproof way to remove the Higgs boson…
worldsfair | April 4, 2009
Sciencescout twitter feed
One of my past attempts at humour writing, entitled "An Intelligent Designer on the Cow" and reprinted here for your enjoyment.
- - -
AN INTELLIGENT DESIGNER ON THE COW
Today, I feel like doing a plant - no, an animal. Yes, today, I am going to make an animal. And it will be a masterpiece. I shall call it the.... No wait! Maybe I should think of the name later. Yes, you should always name your pieces after you have completed them. Better that way.
OK then. An animal it is. More specifically, a vertebrate. Large body, four legs, one tail, one head, usual stuff on…
worldsfair | April 1, 2009Taking reduce, reuse, recycle to the pinnacle, a great piece from McSweeney's, reprinted below for your enjoyment:
THE STICK, RECENTLY INDUCTED INTO THE TOY HALL OF FAME, IS NOW AVAILABLE AT AMAZON.COM.
By Ralph Gamelli
**** Nice toy, but not for all children
By JJ (PA)
We gave our son The Stick for his fifth birthday this past summer, and at first he loved to jump around the yard, slaying dragons and evil knights with his magic sword. Then the girl across the street got her hands on it and started to prance around, pretending it was an umbrella handle. Our son was devastated. We tried to…
bcohen | March 4, 2009Wherein the author, Dave Frye, finds in his doctoral research that "it remains fairly safe to say that the modern science of cereal studies began no earlier than with the 1764 publication of Linnaeus's De Cerialibus." This, despite some early finds about "the famously lactose-intolerant Pythagoreans."
There are some good findings in Frye's work, and one wonders how long it might be until his research is complete. I was particularly struck by the solid integration of the history of science and food studies into true, deeper cultural and political context. Many graduate students seek that…
worldsfair | March 4, 2009Yes, it has been tough going of late, but things are looking up, so says Onion writer Peter Waldron.
Check out: "LEAKED DEPARTMENT OF INTERIOR MEMO THAT REMOVES AMERICAN SCIENTIST FROM ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST" at the Science Creative Quarterly. (I especially like the breeding bit)
worldsfair | February 12, 2009I've got a humour piece at McSweeney's today in celebration of Darwin's 200th. Here's a snippet:
Joins the Ice Capades: Darwin is hired for small part in a Lion King-themed ice show. Takes skating lessons and practices hard. Soon nails both the triple axel and the triple lutz. Is fired from the show when he tests positive for performance-enhancing drugs.
My favourite bit is actually the part about losing his mind, and you can read the rest at McSweeney's and maybe (if you're so inclined) try to come up with a few yourself in the comments below.